Text Fail

SoySauce wanted to go home today, he had sent out a text to his friend the previous night, probably around 2-3am.

Today, at around 8pm, way after his friend had already left to drive back home, he gets a text.

SS’s Friend: “Hey, what does going good mean?”
SoySauce: “Who asked you that?”

*SoySauce realizes that maybe…*
SoySauce looks at his outbox on his phone, sees the message that was supposed to ask

“Yo, are you going home tomorrow?”
Instead it read
“Yo, are you going good tomorrow?”

SoySauce tried to retype the message using the phone’s text assist, good came up as the first option, the second option was home. Thus, SoySauce wasn’t able to go home.

LEARN2TEXT

Its a trap!

SoySauce: Hey, do you know the band Tokio Hotel?
BugEyes:Yeah.
SoySauce: Well, I googled them and saw the lead singer. She was HOT.
BugEyes: Isn’t the…
SoySauce: Yeah, then I wikipedia’d the band to see what her name is and I found out that she was a he.
BugEyes: Hahaha, a trap.
SoySauce: Even after the fact, he is still attractive.
BugEyes: Uhhh. Okaaay.

Later
SoySauce: So, if you were a girl would you date you?
Bugeyes: Whaat?
SoySauce: If you were a girl, would you date yourself?
BugEyes: I can’t even begin to comprehend that!
SoySauce: Why not?
BugEyes: I just can’t.
SoySauce: Why didn’t your head explode then?
BugEyes: I’m not one of those Star Trek robots!

More later
*BugEyes on his laptop*
SoySauce: What are you looking at? Porn?
BugEyes: Look at this picture.
*SoySauce leans in to look, BugEyes has his head turned away looking behind SoySauce*
SoySauce: Encylopedia Dramatica?
*SoySauce turns around*
SoySauce: Is there something behind me, what are you trying to tell me?
BugEyes: This picture.
*BugEyes turns his head away and scrolls up the page*
SoySauce: So?
*A fat dude is humping a blowup doll in an animation / gif*
SoySauce: Guy humping doll, is that it?
BugEyes: Yea, its on the front page.
SoySauce: What’s the big deal?
Bugeyes: I’m not comfortable looking at male penis.
SoySauce: You can’t even see it!

Are you afraid of the Cock?

Fallen Mini Mac

*SoySauce walks out of room*
*BugEyes sitting in the corner, cross legged, back turned towards SoySauce, moving up n down*

SoySauce: Whoa, wth are you doing. Do that in your room.
BugEyes: Calm, down, I’m just using my iphone.
SoySauce: Oh.
BugEyes: Hey, why is my computer on the floor, did you knock it down?
SoySauce: No, why?
BugEyes: Well, b/c its on the floor, who could’ve done it.
SoySauce: Dunno
BugEyes: What, did ghosts do it? How’d it get on the floor.
SoySauce: Oh, it probably fell down while we were boxing.
BugEyes: Oh okay. Why didn’t you just say that first.
SoySauce: Do you want me to say I deliberately threw it on the ground, trying to break it, since I might have. Is it broken?
Bugeyes: No.
SoySauce: Damn.

Why didn’t it break!

Robbed!

Not really.
BugEyes hasn’t been locking / closing the door completely when he leaves the apartment.
Jman left a long note to BugEyes regarding this problem.

Solution.
SoySauce takes everything of value from the living room and puts it in a clothes hamper / buries them with clothes.

Items
1. Wii
2. 4 Wii games
3. Xbox 360
4. 3 Xbox360 games
5. 3 Xbox360 Controllers
6. 4 GameCube controllers
7. PS2
8. Terabyte external HD
9. 5 PS3 Games
10. PS3

I’m in your haws, stealin’ your toyz.

Sass factor

Ever since the night Lulu snapped and got angry, Lulu has been doing things that are unnatural as if to say she didn’t lose that night despite being shut down by TheDick.
She didn’t keep to her promise and has been back multiple times.
Everytime she leaves she makes sure to say goodbye to us in a spiteful manner by saying bye loudly and strongly stressing the Y and then slamming the door on her way out.

Slowly developing the courage to bitch openly instead of only to Jman.

*SoySauce is in his room*
*Jman and LuLu come back to TwelveOhFive for boring stuff*
*Lulu moves to the couch, Jman is putting someting into the Xbox360*
*BugEyes is on the floor studying*

BugEyes: What are you guys watching? Something cool?
LuLu: Nothing you’d LIKE!
Jman: CSI
SoySauce from his room: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYy
BugEyes: Hahaha.

*SoySauce walks out shirtless*
*LuLu just glares*

I think she likes me.

You guys are killing me

SoySauce, DDaMan and TheDick were playing video games with the volume super loud.

Jman: Hey, can you guys turn it down a bit, I need to study
SoySauce: Where is remote? BugEyes, turn it down, can’t pause.

*BugEyes and Jman roll for initiative*
*BugEyes rolls a 6*
*Jman rolls a 20*
*Jman turns down the volume to a setting of his choice so that he can study*

SoySauce and co. continue to play, but change the game to RockBand, volume settings weren’t changed.

*5-10 mins into playing*

Lulu walks out her (Jman’s) room and leaves the apartment without saying anything. Jman follows, exits, and locks the door. However, he forgets something and has to unlock and go back to his room. On the way out, he made it a point to say something witty.

Jman: You guys are killing me. (Translation: I’m not getting any tonight because of you guys)

*Jman exits TwelveOhFive and heads for LuLu’s place*

TheDick: What, we weren’t even doing anything bad, that took no effort. I am disappointed.

Later when TheDick and DDaMan had already left

Jman returns, but just goes into his room, walks out without getting anything and drives back to LuLu’s.

*10 mins later*

Jman’s back, eats his cereal and slams his door.

unintentionally cockblocked

Name Origin

Lulu is Lulu because a receipt was found.
Inscribed on the back was the text

I<3 Lulu written by Jman
I<3 Jorjor written by Lulu
I<3 Jorjor 2!!!eleven!!! written by SoySauce

Jman is Jman b/c its derived from his online screenname, which is lame.This also applies to the Injun.

BugEyes and SoySauce are self explanatory.

The more you know.

Prank War 2

Upon hearing about said Lucky Charms prank, Emoparker and TheDick went crazy.
Jman hasn’t even found about the missing charms yet.

New Junk
1. Opened the cases of his Xbox games and rearranged their contents.
2. Sprayed cooking oil on his toilet seat.
3. Salted the water purified.
4. Turned his clock back a few hours.

After random acts of crazy, BugEyes gave Lulu’s number to EmoParker and TheDick, which led to some random texts and phonecalls.

Text1: Hey
Text2: Hey, Baby

TheDick calls her once, but says nothing, just listens to her say hello.
EmoParker gets a call a few minutes later with an eloquent F&!* you from Jman.

10 minutes later

*TwelveOhFive’s door turned*
*BugEyes quickly went into hiding*
*SoySauce poured the rest of the Hypnotiq into his drink and chugged it down*

SoySauce went to his room to use the bathroom, he started hearing someone yelling, knew who it was. He went out and saw Lulu yelling at TheDick, EmoParker and DDaman. SoySauce wondered where BugEyes was, stepped out onto the balcony and BugEyes was hiding in the corner, out of view. What a coward.
Lulu just kept yelling while TheDick kept shutting her down.
SoySauce went back to his room to laugh a little and sit it out.

*Knock knock knock*

It was Jman.

Jman: Do you know whats going on here?
SoySauce: We just got back from eating wings and came back here to watch TV.
Jmian: Was it you guys?
SoySauce: I don’t know what’s going on, why is she yelling?
Jman: She got some phone calls.
SoySauce: Why does she think its us.
Jman: …

*Jman walks back outside*

Lulu lectured for ~5minutes.
DDaMan recorded the latter half without her knowing.

The Show

http://www.box.net/shared/mu96bd0gqk

Presumptive?

Prank War

TwelveOhFive

Reason

Somebody rearranged the cereal boxes and placed SoySauce’s box at the top, far end of the fridge. He couldn’t reach it nor see his box and thought he had run out. SoySauce bought more cereal and upon inspection, realized that that his box was hidden. It may have been unintentional, but that doesn’t matter.

Counterattack

Jman’s Lucky Charms cereal was in the spot occupying the place where SoySauce’s cereal used to be, so the box was confiscated. The box was emptied and all the marshmallows were removed, then the cereal was funneled back into the box and placed back on the fridge.

The Charms.

Now we wait.

Tick Tock

Bugeyes ate a box of fiber one in one sitting. 8 servings with 51% of your daily recommended fiber per serving. 408% of fiber. I can’t wait until he poops out his large intestine.
He ate it around 7-8pm. Nothing’s happened yet, probably have an attack during the night.

Time Bomb